From MIDWIFERY MATTERS, Issue No.107, Winter 2005
Call me naïve, but before I got pregnant I had never considered what sort
of care I would receive from the NHS. I had no fear of childbirth thanks to
my Mum and always thought that everyone knew their midwife well before any labour
pains started!
As a child I lived in rural Norfolk. I was born in 1972, my brother in 1973
and my sister in 1975. We were all born at home and my Mum had the same midwife
for all three of us. I had attended antenatal classes with my Mum when she was
carrying my sister and remember rubbing my Mum's back during labour. My Mum
had taken a very brave step and allowed me, at three years old, to see my sister
being born. I remember it and grew up with a positive image of birth as well
as being very close to my sister.
So when I got pregnant at thirty two, I went to my doctor and asked, "What
happens now?" She gave me the practice midwife's phone number and told
me to ring her. I rang her and got a rather frosty response. She was part time,
overworked and had colleagues off on long term sick. She wasn't able to see
me until I would have been four months pregnant. She also told me, when I asked
a few questions about having my baby at home, and tried to explain that I really
didn't want to go to hospital, that I wouldn't necessarily have met the midwife
who would deliver my baby. I had felt very relaxed and happy about it all until
then. I remember feeling upset and thinking "It's not supposed to be like
this." I rarely needed to go to a doctor and now I needed some support
where was it? I felt like a number not a person and was quite shocked. I became
aware at this point that I was going to have to actively seek the care I had
naïvely assumed I would receive.
Then I had a chat with someone I knew who had recently become a midwife and
I knew she would have a similar philosophy and an understanding of what I wanted.
Chrissie I can't thank you enough! She told me that I could swap practices to
one that had a One to One midwifery team. I registered at the practice and was
put in touch with a midwife. From this point everything changed. My midwife
visited me at home for all my antenatal check ups and explained how the One
to One service worked. She got to know me as a person as well as my wishes when
it came to giving birth. I really wanted to have an active birth without any
drugs but knew that I would need a lot of support to achieve this.
I never had to write a birth plan because Pam had taken the time to talk to
me and discuss my options and intentions. Together with Katherine, a student
midwife, they had noticed on the bookcase the photo of me scuba diving and this
prompted them to ask whether I had considered a water birth. I had no idea that
this was available. I felt that the One to One service just got better and better!
They booked a birthing pool for me. I felt very relaxed through the rest of
my pregnancy because I knew that I was going to be in good hands when it came
to labour and trusted Pam completely. I also met Wendy who worked with Pam in
the One to One team. Wendy worked when Pam didn't and vice versa. I hadn't got
to know Wendy as well but she too was supportive in my aim to have a home water
birth.
My due date came and went. I became anxious as I feared being so late that I
would have to go to hospital to be induced. All through my pregnancy I had read
very little about pregnancy and birth as I felt my gut instinct was serving
me well. Parent craft sessions (which always makes me think of lace making!),
were very good and I felt that I didn't need any more information or to read
horror stories of things that could go wrong etc. But when I was eight days
late I read about induction. I tried every suggestion to get things started;
acupuncture amongst them. I felt that nature had served me well through this
pregnancy and that labour would start when nature felt it should, not a hospital's
dating scan. However I still feared that I would be pressured into going to
hospital when my baby became ten days late. Wendy and Pam both put my mind at
rest. When I was ten days late I had a membrane sweep after talking through
the options with Pam who said that we would take it a day at a time.
Things started four hours later. My labour was longer than I had expected but,
as I understand it, quite normal for a first birth. During the birth Pam, Wendy
and Katherine together with my husband helped me to find the strength to achieve
what I wanted. I went very much inside myself during labour but I remember them
saying "You can do it, you're strong". They knew this because they
had taken the time to know me. Pam, Wendy and Katherine all helped deliver our
baby who, thanks to them all, was born at home in water as I wished. I can't
thank or praise them enough. They went above and beyond the call of duty and
gave me so much support and care through pregnancy, birth and for a fortnight
after, helping me with breastfeeding too.
Updated LW November 30, 2006